holy shit bruh

"Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To" (murdersofa) 03/26/2019 at 14:16 • Filed to: None

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Having a couple of issues on the LS400 relating to the computer. Specifically, the c-best/dealer settings that are set using a Techstream. Somebody in the past has seen fit to take their car to a Lexus dealership and disable the trunk remote release (so I have to flip the switch under the dash to open the trunk), as well as disable the lights flashing when the car is locked so there’s no visual feedback whatsoever when I lock the car. Great, because the beep when it locks is quiet as fuck. These cars also have an auto tilt-away steering column that telescopes and tilts whenever you stick the key in. Grand, but after 230k miles those motors are intermittent and my column frequently requires multiple tries to get back into a drivable position from “all the way up and retracted”. Fortunately with the use of a Techstream any dealer can change these settings in a few minutes to disable the auto-tiltaway functionality and restore the other settings to factory defaults! Yay!

Not yay. The local Lexus dealership told me to kick rocks and the local Toyota dealership isn’t a place I want to give money or let them touch my car. Went to a well-recommended indie mechanic and his Techstream refuses to acknowledge the presence of c-best settings on my car, the running theory being that Toyota deliberately broke backwards compatibility in Techstream at some point.

fucking GRAND

To continue with annoyances. My head unit backlight is broken, the volume randomly adjusts itself, and I have no way to play other music with reasonable quality through it other than burning CDs because cassette adapters sound like utter dogshit. I have a Pioneer head unit kicking around from the NB, it’ll do great! Buy the install kit... oh. The fucking head unit uses a goddamn mother fucking CANBUS to communicate with the factory amp. This means I get to bypass the amp, hook up the regular 4 channels directly to the head unit by running a bunch of wires, then run some RCAs down under the passenger seat and buy a fucking ~50w amp to run the factory subwoofer.

What makes this worse is I took apart the center console using the Crutchfield instructions I was given so I could take a look at how the factory stereo was set up and test fit my double DIN.

Here is what the instructinos say to do to remove the vent. Looks like they stick a pry tool in about an inch or so and pry it out.

Wanna know what happens when you do that?

You apply a tiny bit of force and your fucking vent explodes because that isn’t how you fucking remove the vents .

You’re supposed to stick a flatblade screwdriver in the INSIDE of the vent and push back on this retention clip.

Wanna know how much a new vent costs?

$150 on ebay at the fucking cheapest.

So after bitching on Facebook briefly I get a FB message that someone has a vent from a car they’re parting out and they’ll send it to me for $40 . Great! Here’s my paypal. Shoot me an invoice. Got it in the mail today and it’s a motherfucking pre-facelift part and won’t even remotely fit my car.

Meanwhile I have this NASTY shudder on the highway anywhere between 50-100mph that feels like all four wheels are out of balance, but it’s not a constant vibration. It comes and goes. Hopefully this Saturday I can get with a guy and borrow his work’s roadforce balancer and see if my tires are out of balance. Almost certainly need a ball joint or tie rod end... can’t want to see how much of an expensive pain in the ass that’s going to be for no fucking reason.

AestheticsInMotion > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/26/2019 at 14:44

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Can you just set the steering wheel to the desired position and disable the retract fun ction?

Future next gen S2000 owner > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/26/2019 at 14:51

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You need a drink 

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > AestheticsInMotion 03/26/2019 at 14:56

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Nope. Have to disable the function in the computer. It shares a fuse with  the gauge cluster lighting and dome lights and I can’t find any way to take off the lower dash panel to access the motors and disconnect them. Every tutorial I can find is for a different bodystyle or different revision of the assembly or just conveniently fucking skips taking off the scuttle panel.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Future next gen S2000 owner 03/26/2019 at 14:56

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all I have is this Monster which is just making my anxiety worse fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

Verdog ~ manual Bro, Bro - HellHawk Equipped > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/26/2019 at 15:02

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Looks like Steps 1-6 are missing.  Maybe one of those was the retaining clip part?

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Verdog ~ manual Bro, Bro - HellHawk Equipped 03/26/2019 at 15:06

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They weren’t. They were lower center console removal procedure.

Arrivederci > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/26/2019 at 15:07

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I’m dreading the day when the auto-tilt/telescope function stops working on my GS.

Tapas > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/26/2019 at 15:17

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Fuck!

Ssfancyfresh > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/26/2019 at 15:25

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As an Audi owner, t his all sounds very German.  Are you sure you bought a Lexus?

LOREM IPSUM > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/26/2019 at 15:37

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Wow, sounds like a r ough go! Gotta love technology.

Got any codes? That shudder could be the torque converter, though that’s just my gut.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/26/2019 at 15:39

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Ever thought of buying a Nissan Versa brand new?  Maybe cheaper and less stressful for you long term

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/26/2019 at 15:45

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You should get a shitty Riviera from the 90's and nickname it the shiv.

E90M3 > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 03/26/2019 at 15:55

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I’ve got a low mileage one owner one I can sell him instead. 

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > AMGtech - now with more recalls! 03/26/2019 at 15:56

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I already did that tho

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 03/26/2019 at 15:57

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You... you’re familiar with Versa reliability right?

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > LOREM IPSUM 03/26/2019 at 15:57

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Car doesn’t have a single code other than a telescoping steering wheel range sensor error when the motor thinks it’s moving but actually isn’t. MIGHT be the trans mount. Maybe.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Ssfancyfresh 03/26/2019 at 15:58

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idk I should just buy a fucking W220 V12 biturbo and watch it be the most reliable car in the universe.

LOREM IPSUM > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/26/2019 at 16:01

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Well that’s good at least.

I’ll try and keep a pair of fingers crossed for you. 

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/26/2019 at 16:08

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Oh. Damn. I must've missed that. I remember the og sofa though!

ArmadaExpress drives a turbo outback > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/26/2019 at 16:17

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check out Carly. Had it for my ‘09 5 Series and I just saw they were working on functionality for Toyota. Lets you do a mess with a ton of settings and log data. You buy an OBDII Dongle and the app from them, and then you’re set to go. See if they have capabilities for your car.

https://www.mycarly.com/

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > AMGtech - now with more recalls! 03/26/2019 at 16:27

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I had a ‘98 naturally aspirated with trans issues I bought for $650 3 years ago . Did a 2000 mile road trip without missing a beat and got 30mpg. Only sold it because I got my NB miata and promised to sell all my other cars.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > ArmadaExpress drives a turbo outback 03/26/2019 at 16:28

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Oldest LS it supports is the 3rd gen and even then it can’t write any ECU settings.

My bird IS the word > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/26/2019 at 17:28

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kenwood makes a cool compact bluetooth amp I’ve been looking at:

https://www.kenwood.com/usa/car/marine/kac-m1824bt/

if you are interested.

66P1800inpieces > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/26/2019 at 22:12

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Have you tried the Techstream “clone” and cable they sell on eBay? I was thinking of getting it to fix a friend’s Toyota if he can’t get the ECU replaced under a recall. $60 gamble. Not sure if you can accidentally brick it. My friends car worthless if it can’t pass emissions (due to the ECU) so its worth a shot.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > 66P1800inpieces 03/26/2019 at 22:19

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I did actually. No luck. I need to try it in my IS300 to see if it’s just something wrong with my car.

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/26/2019 at 22:19

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Ahh... so you’ve actually bought a Volkswagen . Solutions! On the steering wheel, get it set to where you like, then open the column and disconnect the motors. Simple! Head unit self-adjusting volume? Time to break out the soldering tool! There’s probably just a fucky contact on the knob. Speed wobbles? Time to go to the junkyard!

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 03/26/2019 at 22:26

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There isn’t a single UCF20 in a junkyard in Wichita. It’s absurd.

Disconnecting the motors... would love to, or just fix the fuckers because I guarantee the issue is just dirty commutator (but good luck telling any LS400 owners what that means because as near as I can tell they’re all as technical as a fucking beer can) , but nobody can tell me how to take the lower dash off to get to them. Nobody. Everyone will HAPPILY link me to tutorials for completely the wrong year, or tutorials that somehow skip over the exact part I’m having difficulty with.

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/26/2019 at 22:40

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Huh. And there’s no Bentley manual for that chassis? That sucks, man.

Time to shop for a parts car?

ArmadaExpress drives a turbo outback > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 03/27/2019 at 08:35

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Bummer. well I would keep an eye out. Over time they continue to add new features to the app. Just a few years ago they only did BMW and Mercedes, now they’ve added a host of other makes and models.